Cheater, Cheater, Burrito Eater

Day 9

Weight: 236.2

Honesty is the best policy so I have to be honest. I cheated last night. 

My very best friend who I never get to see wanted to go out. I planned on meeting her and not eating, but then I decided "What the hell?" and had a beef, bean and cheese burrito. I gained .8lbs but that is a lot less than it could have been and I had a good time with my friend, so it was worth it. I have to admit that I still feel guilty though. I woke up this morning and made a fresh batch of juice and now I am back on the wagon and that is all there is to it. 

Believe it or not, I am actually a fairly healthy person. YES I am over weight, but my blood pressure and cholesterol levels are fine, I do not have diabetes, or any other problem that usually lumps itself in with being overweight and I LOVE eating healthy. If you have read my history (Whale Watching (A Brief History)) you know a little bit about how I put my weight ON, but not what happened after that. 

My son's birthday is in April and that is when I realized that I weighed 280lbs. I managed to lose about 15lbs over a period of 6 months simply by changing how I was eating. We stopped having dessert every single night, I started using fresh fruits and vegetables a lot more in my cooking, and I watched my portion sizes closely. When I hit the 265 mark, which is where I had been hovering for quite some time before I jumped up to 280lbs, I seemed to hit a permanent plateau. I started maintaining that weight and it didn't seem to matter what I did, the scale would not budge! I ate smaller portions, I cut out soda and sugary treats, and I started an exercise regimen but to no avail. I just stayed right around the same weight, some days a pound or two more, some days a pound or two less. Eventually I gave up again and gained about 10lbs back. That is when I started juicing and the weight just fell off! 

Somebody in a forum that I am a part of brought up that sometimes you have to cheat to keep your sanity, and I think that is a valid point. If I feel like I am going insane because I want something and I feel like I might snap on somebody, then maybe I should just eat a little something. I may not lose weight that day, but it isn't like I am throwing this whole thing out of the window. I don't want to end up losing a bunch of weight, but driving myself crazy for wanting food, binge eating when this is all over and gaining a bunch of weight back. That is basically what happened when I tried to lose the old fashioned way. I know that I wouldn't gain it all back, but even gaining 10lbs would make me unhappy.

So what is my point? I do not plan on cheating again. I do not foresee a time when I am going to say "Oh my god, I need a pizza or I will die before these 60 days are over!". I had a moment of weakness last night when my emotions got the best of me and I decided that I was going to eat, and I do not want to do it again. BUT! If I get to a point where I feel like I just can't go on without chewing on something I will eat a piece or two of fruit. I do not want to at any junk food and I most definitely wouldn't eat a full meal, but maybe eating an orange or a few strawberries when I feel like punching somebody would be the better option...