Don't Give Up, Learn From It!

Day 9

Well this morning I was still feeling discouraged about my lack of weight loss, so I stepped on the scale and I have lost 3lbs since yesterday which makes me feel 100% better! 

I would just like to take a moment to say that this is a CHALLENGE! Nobody walks into a juice fast and has absolutely no problems at all. You will feel tired, irritable, probably have a headache for a few days, and you will want to EAT! If you have an addiction to food, you are an emotional eater, have an eating disorder, or have any other number of food related issues, then you are going to have a few bumps in the road! 

DO NOT GIVE UP! 

During my very first juice fast I jumped right in and I had a lot of motivation. My friends told me that if I tried juicing for weight loss/ health improvement that they would BOTH quit smoking and one of them even juiced with me for support. Even then- I cheated. There were days when I got home that I said "I will just have a handful of crackers. That is okay, because it isn't going to impede my weight loss." and usually it didn't, but then it turned into me saying one night "Well, I am just going to eat with my family for tonight, nobody has to know." Even after that, and not loosing weight for 3 days I did not give up. Yes, I did feel a sense of shame for giving in to something so silly, especially when right after I realized that I could have had a piece of fruit if I REALLY needed to eat (which I didn't). I made the decision to just get back on the horse and ride on... 

Trying to start and stick with this juice fast has been no picnic either! I have had SEVERAL false starts. I started once and then noticed that my no-brand juicer was not producing as much juice as it used to. When I looked at the blade, it was broken. No start. I ordered a new juicer from Breville and when it arrived.....  I tried once to start and then got sick and decided that (this is stupid, by the way) I needed to eat "solid food" to get better. I started another time and then my son got sick and it was just "easier" to continue eating (again, a ridiculous excuse). Another three starts and stops have been dedicated to the recent holidays...

 I realized that there has to be some deeper meaning behind my need to stuff my face and I have decided to look into it. I purchased a small journal that I can take with me in my purse and every time that I have the desire to eat, I write down what is going on at that moment, even if I am out in public. I have a 100% honesty pact with myself about this journal... I have to be 100% completely honest with myself when I write in it and sometimes it hurts... Sometimes it is just because I am a human and I had a desire. Other times it is because I am in a location that provokes a painful memory, or something has happened that hurt my feelings, stirred up an unpleasant feeling, I feel insecure or any number of other things... If I have the urge to just give up, I write it out. I have been trying to find the reasons that I have this relationship with food and eating instead of just juicing and then hoping that I lose weight and get magically better. I realize that it doesn't work that way. If you do not find out what is causing the problem, you can't fix it! If you are reading this and you have an emotional response to food in ANY way, you should try this. I have learned so much about what TRULY triggers me to want to eat, or not eat, during the past week alone. I plan on using this information and knowledge to help keep myself in check in the future. 

I know that it is easy to give in to temptation, I have done it several times in my life, but I also know that you CAN resist. Since I have started this journal, I have been able to juice and not give in to my temptations because I have been owning the real reasons behind them. Even if you do give in to temptation and eat that burger, don't throw it all away! Learn from it! If you "cheat" don't say that you are done for the whole day, or throw in the towel all together. You can always get back on track. Take these experiences and learn about yourself... 

These are the questions that I ask myself when I want the real truth:

Am I really hungry, or am I just having an emotional reaction?

Is my physical location causing this?

What has happened today that made me feel mad/sad/emotional? 

Why do I think that I need this food item?

What comfort would it give me? 

How would I really feel after consuming this?

Do I want to feel like that?

Is it worth it?